Teens and dating: Should they, or shouldn’t they?

Some people are dead against teens dating, while others think that it just cannot be prohibited because parents want to. Hence, they suggest that teens should be told about the consequences and dangers of risky behaviour while on dates. They opine parents should handle teens and their relationships with much care, understanding and transparency.

Graphics: Ratna Sagar Shrestha / THT

I’ve put together some thoughts and comments from different individuals on this particular question. What do you think about this question? Read along and leave a comment.


We’ve all experienced love during our teenage years. We’ve loved and been loved. This love adds richness and happiness to our lives. It makes us feel important, understood and secure. It provides us with a chance to discover our own-selves as we share it with someone new. We also learn things — to love ourselves, things we’d like to change and about the qualities and values we look for in a partner. Love and romance teach us self-respect as well as to respect others. Therefore, teen romance should not be discouraged but we have to draw some lines.
Bidyaaz, Kathmandu

I strongly believe that teens should be discouraged from a romantic relationship. The only rational thing that they ought to do is to focus on their career and make their life meaningful by pursuing the purpose for which they were sent here on Earth. Each of us has a specific purpose and power of making our dreams come true lies within.

However, we can see many youth indulging in romantic relationship where breakups, matchups are common. The teens have the false belief that they’ll get most happiness if they’ll be able to marry his/her girlfriend/boyfriend. But the fact is that they’re just trapped in a vicious circle. A girl commits suicide just because she couldn’t marry the guy she wanted, while that guy for sure will fall in love with another girl again. So, sacrificing a beautiful life just for a romantic relationship is a blunder. Instead, they should focus on their career, how they can perform their best in everything they do.

I’m not against true love. However, being in a romantic relationship at such a young age is not rational.
Dipti Gyawali, Basundhara

Being in love is not a bad thing. It’s just that teenage is not the right age to fall in love. Teenagers should not be allowed to date as there are more disadvantages in teenage love relationship than advantages. I have seen many teenagers blindly fall in love and then face the consequences later. Most teenagers don’t act sensibly as they are immature and don’t have knowledge of right and wrong. This sometimes leads to wrong activities and decisions.

So, parents have to act more responsibly when their children reach teenage. They should keep an eye on their children’s activities. If their children are found to be in a secret relationship, they should have a talk with them and show them the right path. Parents should motivate children to focus more on their future than on love relationships. Teenagers themselves should try to control their emotions and thoughts for love relationship as far as possible.
Aishwarya Rai, Golfutar, Kathmandu

Teen romance is common especially these days. I think it is all right if it is within boundaries. They should be allowed to date so that they get to know everything better. If everything is in limits, I don’t think there should be any discouragement. The world is changing, so we all have to change our thoughts with the changing scenario.
Pearl

The majority of teenagers experience attraction, get close and establish relationship with him/her. We cannot solely blame the age or time for how they feel. It is obvious parents don’t want their children to be engaged in all these things. But this is the age when teenagers don’t think like their well-wishers do. Nowadays, we teenagers are surrounded by television, movies, social media et cetera which I believe are causes for these problems. Moreover, parents must be aware about their children. They should encourage their children for creative response while providing enough time to them. Children can be handled if they are suggested with love and care. In addition, children shouldn’t be pressurised because of their mistakes but they should be counselled about consequences of irresponsible acts. In fact, children seek more care and affection in this age. So, parents should play a leading role.
Prabesh Banstola, Maitidevi

Today’s young generation and teenagers think that being in a romantic relationship is the modern way of lifestyle. They get involved in romance but belief of many Nepali guardians are rooted in old culture. So, they refrain their child from being in a relationship. They think about their dignity and honour in society and think their child is too young to be in love. They are also afraid of their child being involving in activities like sex.

Teenagers should maintain friendly relationships, but not romantic. Of course they can date so they will be good friends and can choose a good life partner when they are capable of in the future gaining experience of good and bad relation. But parents should also know about their child’s friendship and relationship to check unexpected physical relations or sexual violence.

Teenage dating and their relationship should not be discouraged but sexual attraction must be discouraged. Parents should handle it in a friendly manner. They should trust their children so they will feel good and their son/daughter maintains friendly relation with him/her and not physical relation before the right age.
Patrick

Talking about dates, they’re fine if you know who your child is with and if s/he is mature enough to take care of themselves. Limiting the freedom of teens will only worsen things and parents/guardians/ teachers should be aware of this. Moreover, the best way to handle fun loving teens of today, is to make them aware of their inner-self. Focusing on other important and creative ideas can also help. And the role played by parents, guardians or teachers is to show teens their path, understand them and deal with them in a calm way.
— Janabi Joshi

It is often taken as negative when teenagers involve in romantic relationships. Teenage is transitional phase from childhood to adulthood. During this stage, teenagers go through the process of development. Their physical, mental and psychological states are on the way to maturity. Most of the teenagers fantasise a lot in this age. They are not fully mature to take independent decisions. Nowadays, almost every teenager falls in romantic relationship, every school child has his/her boyfriend or girlfriend. I consider this as a result of social media, movies and information technology. Such modern technologies have made teens creative and smart in the same regard most of them fall in romantic relationships.

During this age, they need a lot of parental care and support. Parents should establish congenial environment so that teens would not hesitate to share anything with them. Teens often do not share their feelings with their parents because of strict environment in family. Our country is still not advanced to easily welcome such relationships of teens. If parents know their child’s relation then it is important to discuss the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships with them. Nowadays social networking sites play a vital role for teens to develop relationships with many unknown people. As a result, many children get victimised. Cyber-bullying has become a major issue these days. Many children have suffered from this. So, the responsibility of every parent is to know the activities of their teen child and prevent them from such hazards. In conclusion, teenage is not only limited to romantic life, rather this age can be made fruitful by indulging teens in creative works, participating in youth clubs and music class, providing platform to excavate their hidden talent. So, the sole role goes to their parents either to make or break the teens’ future.
— Anonymous

Strict parents raise sneaky children. Dating and getting into a relationship is like a forbidden fruit for teens and getting influenced by western culture is what makes them want to follow it more. However, in Nepali society, it’s not taken positively. Parents are often worried about their children’s grades, future and are bound to act harshly if they see their sons/daughters engaged in a romantic relationship. Teens should be allowed to date. They should be allowed to explore and know what they want in their specific other. A few heartbreaks can be a lesson and teach them about human nature and the fact that they don’t have to rush into a relationship just because everyone’s doing it. The best way to handle teen romance would be staying open to the idea of it. Most of the schools teaches sex education now but that doesn’t mean parents should avoid ‘that talk’. Every once in a while parents should do a check on their children but trust the fact that they can handle issues on their own.
Bani Karki, Tinkune

Teenage is a transitional stage where physical, mental and social development occur. It is a growing period. Due to the sexual hormones production, desire for sex increases. Hence, the imagination of sexual intercourse creates an illusion in their mind and sexual excitement takes place. So it’s natural, teenagers may spend a lot of time thinking about romantic relationship. Thus, such problems of adolescents must be addressed by teacher, parents and guardians. They must guide them in this age otherwise a big social problem may arise in the family as well in society. Because of shyness to talk about sex, teenagers cannot discuss their problems related to reproductive organs with parents and teachers. They get pressure and may adopt wrong measures to overcome it. Hen-ce, proper guidelines regarding problems of wet dream, cha-nges in reproductive organs, menstruation should be given to teenagers. To distract them from this unusual activity, let them participate in social activities. Meditation can be the best method of getting peace and controlling unnecessary desires. Sex education should be provided to teenagers which may help them in knowing about sex related crimes, responsibility of family, teachers and also they could know about the changes in the body structure at this age. At this stage, attraction between male and female is natural. So rather than controlling them, parents and teachers should guide them in a proper way.

But I don’t think it’s the right time to allow them to date. They are not mature enough to think about relationship. They are too young to struggle around in a relationship.
Anonymous

Teen romance is not a new phenomenon. Nowadays it seems like even little children are having crushes on peers and celebrities. Teens are actively engaged in the hunt for a partner. But most parents often dread the time when their teens begin to date. The best way to handle teen romance is that parents should not be judgmental towards their teens and the lines of communication between parents and teens should remain open. Parents should allow to date for socialisation of their teens. It helps them to develop personality and learn to get along socially. It leads them to maturity and better understanding of adult relationships. By allowing them to date, teens begin to learn how to compromise and cooperate with partners. Finally, they become able to choose their mates.
— Shashi Sharma

There is not much point in opposing teen romance as it would be swimming against the tide — it simply cannot be stopped. Instead, it would be better for parents, teachers and guardians to offer healthy advice to the teens so that their romance does not take unpleasant ups and downs. Teen romance if healthy, enhances self-esteem, boosts confidence and, in most cases, acts as an antidote against bad habits like drugs, drink and sex addiction. Many teen romances survive for years and culminate in nuptials. A few others egged on by lust and infatuation might fall along the way.
— J Talchabhadell, Bhaktapur


Do you have questions about dating? What do you think about teens dating? Should they? Shouldn’t they? Any experience with dating? Share with us in the comment section!

25 comments

  1. teenagers must go out, otherwise they run risks for their mental health; they must also meet the opposite sex, otherwise they will be adults insecure enough to incur unnecessary risks as adults (for example abusive relationships). adults should not be afraid to talk about certain topics and prevention is the right key. Good post 😘

    Liked by 2 people

  2. People view things from different points of view so no one can really say if dating is good or bad for teenagers.
    Christian wise, dating is not meant for teenagers, it could lead to sinful acts as their minds aren’t mature enough to handle things involved in the dating process.
    Looking at it from a different perspective, I think teenagers of the age 16 and upwards are ok to date although they still need to be guided and monitored by their parents, it gives better experience with handling personal life and relationship issues and it helps in the mental state of the mind not for everyone though.
    Parents should keep a close eye on their children and be their best friends in order to know almost everything going on with them, their friends, relationships and everything in total. If the children happen to be in a romantic relationship with someone, they should be there to advise them and tell them the right thing to do.

    I’m considering the issue from different views. Though I don’t think dating is right for Early teenagers, I believe older teenagers are allowed to date under the supervision of their parents but at that time, they should be mature enough to handle the relationship well enough in order to avoid negative outcomes such as suicide.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I guess the more you supress them to not, the more they will….
    Teenage is a age in which many changes happen and the so called falling in love is one of them, if you can’t stop their physical changes how can you stop their mental one ……
    What is dangerous is if they have no knowledge about how to handle things , so instead of schooling them about what not to do, teach them what one should do….

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Teens should date. The most exciting age is teenage. Life is already all about rules, career, and marriage. It’s boring and tiring. You have your whole adult life to be doing the right thing. Dont start at teen.

    Liked by 2 people

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