I am always in favor of kindness; it is rarely advantageous to be passive,”~Anita Annabel
A blend of kindness and a good heart is a wonderful cocktail.
But what happens when you get that recipe wrong, mixing in too much deference for others and not enough hard-headed pursuit of your own goals?
Though kindness is always a virtue, there also is such a thing as too nice. Here’s what i think could go wrong if you take being a sweetheart too far.
People will see you as weak…
… and take advantage. This first point is no shock. This is generally the problem against being too quick to put your needs aside in favor of the needs of others. You can never be too nice to people, but you must nonetheless, be vigilant, as some will see it as a sign of weakness and try to take advantage of you. You think you are kind enough, wait till people ask you to rip off your kidney for a donation and as the Prime Minister Of Kindness, you wouldn’t want to disappoint them. Good Luck On Your Surgery. Bon Voyage!
You forget to be kind to yourself
Being kind to others is good but don’t forget to be nice to yourself! This is also the problem with being “too nice“. Take a for instance, You’re starving and you just happened to grab a burger with your last cash and on the way back to your apartment, this poor woman walks up to you begging for food. What do you do? Its simple, you give her half of the burger if you must help her(remember she is not the only hungry one here) and you eat the other half with a lot of water or juice( If you can afford some) so you can feel better. That would be my first option and definitely what I would do but you….nope…Mr Kinddd would give her his entire burger and his coat to her..she asked for something to eat not a change of outfit Mister!!!! So you see, thats the problem with people, they wanna please everyone and while doing that, they completely ignore the fact that Ulcer is still an existing problem. You have needs too, don’t give up yours trying to help others.
You attract the wrong kind of people
Kindness may be a prerequisite for healthy and meaningful relationships, but an utter inability to set boundaries can come across as an invitation to those with draining emotional needs. Be excessively nice and you will start to attract needy, whiny, overly emotional, demanding/controlling, ‘guilt tripping if you don’t do something for them’ type of people.
People that would ask you to quit your job and come help them out with their thanksgiving. Don’t be ridiculous, they could still be another thanksgiving two days after you loose your job. Be wise I beg of you.
Some people will distrust you
Let’s face it, genuinely nice people aren’t rare, but especially in some corners of the business and money related issues, they’re hardly in the majority either. This sad fact means that if you are truly nice, you’re liable to be occasionally misunderstood and even viewed with suspicion. People will believe that you have an ulterior motive in mind, otherwise, why would you be doing all these special things? Just as there is no such thing as a free lunch, there can not, surely, be such a thing as ‘too nice’ for no reason according to these doubters. Its the twenty first century and anyone you see giving off cash to people randomly is either wealthy to stupor or grabbing destinies for sale. I didn’t say kindness is wrong, I’m trying to inform you that you shouldn’t be Mr Kinddd, the prime minister of kindness.
You’ll warp your expectations
Being endlessly selfless can skew your perspective, leading you to expect others to put their interests aside for you just as you would for them. If someone is too nice to people, they start expecting unreasonable amount of niceness from others as well. This always leads to the nice ones thinking others are being mean to them or taking them for granted. A lot of people cannot handle this and when they talk about how they’re nice to everyone while others take them for granted, they tend to sound very entitled. I hate to admit it but if you lend a neighbor your pressure cooker, It Doesn’t Compel Her To Feed You. You should wholeheartedly accept the pressure cooker empty and cook up something yourself coz if you wait for a reward, you might not be alive when it arrives.
Other Effects Of Kindness Are:
You Will Possibly Lag Behind In Life. You are highly likely to lag behind in most areas of your life since you are too busy focusing on boosting others.
You May Be Too Independent Or Helpless. Since you do not want to bother others, you rarely ask for help and when you try, people come up with excuses because after all, you will understand them and make excuses for them.
You May Suffer Emotional Pain. You feel guilty about telling people that they hurt/ wronged you, and as such, you keep it bottled inside. Bottled feelings can build up to the detrimental of your health.
Just like I always say, do not misunderstand my point of view. There is definitely no harm in showing kindness to others but there is a huge problem if you take it too far and personal. Be kind but live your life to its fullest and enjoy yourself. Do not let others limit your activities by their demands rather limit their demands by your activities. Thank you for reading.
This post was inspired by a huge friend of mine. He’s a blogger too and we like to call him the “Gondwanaland“. He’s really inspiring and he’s awesomely good with motivating people. I was challenged to take part in the 7 Bloggers Post entry he is hosting and that’s why I have made this post. Feel free to leave your comments as usual and I would love everyone to participate in this. Huge Thanks To Gondwanaland.