The Fallacy Of Makeup

Where Is All My Money? It’s in my bank account. Where’s yours? It’s on your face. Shame on you. I think the most dangerous thing in the world is makeup. Why would anyone think it’s the nuclear weapon? A thing that turns you from a troll to Megan the Stallion? That’s definitely risky. Truth be told, if I was a man, I would ban makeup in my home. Alongside jewelries and perfumes. I work to save money for my future. And dressing up like a circus clown has nothing to do with that future. Go on, your cheek needs a touch of some poster colour. Yeah, perfect now.

To All The Girls That Wear Extreme Make Up. Stay away from me. No seriously, take it easy, it’s called “your face” “a face”, not a colouring book. I just feel like life would be a lot better if some of you knew how to blend your eyeshadows. I saw my neighbour yesterday and I was 100% tempted to ask if she was dressed up for a movie role. Horror to be precise. Onion Purple eye shadows, pink blush and cockroach brown lipstick? Jeez. Lose the make up already.

True beauty. A little mascara is great but inner beauty never hurts. You know, some ladies are beautiful on the outside but terribly ugly on the inside. What do you think? Someday, we should make them eat their makeup. Maybe they would be cute on the inside too. I believe all women are pretty beautiful without makeup and pretty strong with the right make up. And what is the right make up? It has nothing to do with the maps you drew on your face. ‘There’s no such thing as too much lipstick,’ says a person who needs to visit her therapist.

Crazy Changes. People call cross dressers crazy and deranged. I see them as wise people who are grabbing limited opportunities. Oh come on, aren’t you just jealous that Patrick who was all gross and hideous in high school is a better lady than you are now? Just tell me. It’s a secret between us. Make up leads to incredible changes but changing a goat to an Iphone is terribly unacceptable. What happens when my Facebook starts bleating? And lest I forget, if you get to encounter a cross dresser, poke them in the eye for me. With a make up brush.

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Beauty Attracts The Eye. Personality captures the heart and soul. And there you go, you can’t make a wife out of hoe. Every woman is beautiful, it just takes the right man to see it. And that is why you should take her for a swim before the proposal. Let the cat out of the bag. Sorry, I meant to say, let the chimp out of the water. If your woman doesn’t wash her face around you, she is not the one. And if she sleeps with her makeup, abort the mission. I repeat, abort the mission.

Putting On Make up is like a spiritual thing or experience. I watch my friend go from 2.5 to 9.8 right in front of me. You know what I like? A heavy down pour of rain on your date with him. So in that way, another man will be saved before it’s too late. I can already picture his face. From staring at Cinderella in a glass shoe to running from shrek. And yes, please ensure to use a liquid eyeliner. That would be a great sight, wouldn’t it?

My Hobbies Includes looking at makeup, frowning at makeup and grabbing a glass of water to wash down some make up. In general, I liked make up more than people. But people are beginning to use makeup, that’s a double hatred on the whole theme. Wearing makeup is an apology for your actual face. If you’re ugly, you’re ugly. Stop beating around the bush. We have all seen worse. Besides, I visit the zoo twice a year, it can’t be that bad. Imagine taking off your makeup and nobody knows who you are. Anyway, if you’re going to be a good friend for the rainy season, keep your lashes long and be prompt. I ain’t needing an umbrella when you’ve got one fixed to your eyes. And just so you know, because it’s called makeup doesn’t mean

You 100% make up your face.

And Yeah…Happy New Month Fam.