Adulthood

Who knew being an adult was far less desirable than what we had envisioned as kids. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more frustrated in my life. The constant pressure to measure up to everyone else, be successful in something or at least show that your life is on track. I mean compared to our childhood , the happy competitions within peers and friends aren’t there any longer. All i see is an endless cycle of people trying to be the high and mighty, and while reaching their goals probably tear everyone else down. At this age it may seem as though we have two enemies, foes, maybe some friends, and ourselves.

I’m almost a 20 year old woman, I mean “woman”. I can’t even believe it. It felt like just yesterday when I finished high school/secondary school, whatever it is you call it, my aunt calling me every afternoon to collect launch, my mum and dad yelling at me, that it was either time for bed or time for a bath. But right now, as I write this in my dark bedroom, as hungry as I’ll every be, not because I don’t have food, but because I’m too lazy to stand up and make something and still dirty because I haven’t taken a bath all day, I realize one thing, never, ever, wish to grow up fast. You’ll regret it.

These days, everything I do has to be premeditated, what to cook, what to buy, how to spend my money {laughs in non-existent} and even how to wake up and stay up. I know, I sound lazy, but that’s just how I feel. I have my mum shouting my ears off about how I’m the most uncoordinated person she’s ever met, how I’m irresponsible and how she doesn’t think I can be independent. Well guess what, I don’t think so too. And with the people I’m surrounded by, whom I look up too, she has very strong examples she could use as references.

School isn’t even fun or interesting any longer. Any fun you’d like to have includes some expenses on your part, and I’d dare say, its very stressful to plan and make a budget, where to go, how to get there, how much to spend, the list is endless. And on one of those unfortunate days when our plans don’t quite go as expected, you’d either have to borrow or be left out, and let me tell you, I get left out a lot. Sometimes, I’d imagine myself in so many scenarios where I had a lot of money, and it was fun, at least while it lasted.

I’ve resigned myself to my fate though. I’ve decided to take from life the best it has to offer. I’ve acknowledged the fact that I might not be as successful as I want or as famous as I want or as brilliant as I want, because at the end of the day, it comes down to your happiness. But reaching that point where I had to finally accept everything was hard, I had to watch others do what I wanted and be what I wanted, and when I couldn’t get them, I began to victimize myself. Honestly it was all a roller-coaster of events. But right now, I’m focusing of being the best version of whomever I’m meant to be, surrounded by the best people, living the best moments

P.S: I’m already 20. My birthday was on the 15th of this month. This post would probably be out after that. He he he happy birthday to me

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