Who knew being an adult was far less desirable than what we had envisioned as kids. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more frustrated in my life. The constant pressure to measure up to everyone else, be successful in something or at least show that your life is on track. I mean compared to our childhood , the happy competitions within peers and friends aren’t there any longer. All i see is an endless cycle of people trying to be the high and mighty, and while reaching their goals probably tear everyone else down. At this age it may seem as though we have two enemies, foes, maybe some friends, and ourselves.

I’m almost a 20 year old woman, I mean “woman”. I can’t even believe it. It felt like just yesterday when I finished high school/secondary school, whatever it is you call it, my aunt calling me every afternoon to collect launch, my mum and dad yelling at me, that it was either time for bed or time for a bath. But right now, as I write this in my dark bedroom, as hungry as I’ll every be, not because I don’t have food, but because I’m too lazy to stand up and make something and still dirty because I haven’t taken a bath all day, I realize one thing, never, ever, wish to grow up fast. You’ll regret it.

These days, everything I do has to be premeditated, what to cook, what to buy, how to spend my money {laughs in non-existent} and even how to wake up and stay up. I know, I sound lazy, but that’s just how I feel. I have my mum shouting my ears off about how I’m the most uncoordinated person she’s ever met, how I’m irresponsible and how she doesn’t think I can be independent. Well guess what, I don’t think so too. And with the people I’m surrounded by, whom I look up too, she has very strong examples she could use as references.

School isn’t even fun or interesting any longer. Any fun you’d like to have includes some expenses on your part, and I’d dare say, its very stressful to plan and make a budget, where to go, how to get there, how much to spend, the list is endless. And on one of those unfortunate days when our plans don’t quite go as expected, you’d either have to borrow or be left out, and let me tell you, I get left out a lot. Sometimes, I’d imagine myself in so many scenarios where I had a lot of money, and it was fun, at least while it lasted.

I’ve resigned myself to my fate though. I’ve decided to take from life the best it has to offer. I’ve acknowledged the fact that I might not be as successful as I want or as famous as I want or as brilliant as I want, because at the end of the day, it comes down to your happiness. But reaching that point where I had to finally accept everything was hard, I had to watch others do what I wanted and be what I wanted, and when I couldn’t get them, I began to victimize myself. Honestly it was all a roller-coaster of events. But right now, I’m focusing of being the best version of whomever I’m meant to be, surrounded by the best people, living the best moments

P.S: I’m already 20. My birthday was on the 15th of this month. This post would probably be out after that. He he he happy birthday to me


55 thoughts on “Adulthood

  1. Firstly, God bless you Anna..may you have a beautiful life ahead.
    Frustration does set in when things di not go the way we want them to. But instead of getting frustrated it is better to understand the cause for failures or just partial successes you are getting.
    Ups and downs are part of life and freedom comes with a cost…the major one being responsibility. People will always sit on judgement or have opinions it us upto you how much you let it affect you. If you are affected by opinions you are just being a normal human. Everyone gets affected but for how long and how much is what makes the difference.
    Stay blessed always 🙏🌹🙏

    Liked by 6 people

  2. I feel you hard core. Yesterday my car rolled and today I had to do a lot of maintenance on it. My hours have been cut at work and I still have to pay for school. But hey, you live some you learn some. So long as you gain knowledge from the hard things in life, they are never a total loss. Keep up the good work. I love how real you write!

    Liked by 6 people

  3. Nice post 😊. Adulthood is really frustrating but all we ever think about as kids is the fun part of it. We don’t realize that it comes along with burdens and responsibilities as well.

    Liked by 5 people

  4. Your words draw attention like a magnet force. You described life as it is. We cant have everything and often times, we tear ourselves down to have what we can’t have or shouldn’t have. The greatest satisfaction is learning to be contented with the little we have. There are times I look at the things I wanted before and I laugh at my childishness. Did I really crave that so much? At this stage, it’s either you fit in or out but some of us can’t just fit in. That is the problem with talented people. We want to have it all and fit in but one thing we should know is that extraordinary people don’t fit in.

    Lovely post. I love the energy you are driving here❤❤

    Liked by 5 people

  5. I feel you honey, but keep going. There are good times ahead, and with struggles come wisdom and experience. We all went through it. I still miss my childhood, even with all the struggles and bullying. It’s ironic really, because as you said its seems people are just out to step on one another to be the biggest and the best. It can truly feel like being bullied indirectly at times, this constant battle for coming out on top. I hate how money runs everything too. Everything, even fun, seems to cost money these days. It seems like everyone wants a piece of everyone else nowadays. But never fear, because life is what you make it, and you can either join this rediculous rat race or make it your own life, living it your way, peacefully and with common sense – forget everyone else. You’ll be fine – because you’re real and you see clearly.

    Liked by 5 people

  6. SMiLes Develop Your Human
    Potential No Longer Depending
    on Who You See Ahead
    or Behind

    Then it Will
    Be Easy to
    Run A Race
    You Direct Now

    In Flow For When
    Ya Float on the Ocean
    THere is No Below or Above

    Happy Birthday to You as Well
    It’s Possible For it to get Better

    ACross the Entire Life Span As
    Long As Ya Neither Sink or Fall
    Just Flow Keep Floating Wave

    Water Ocean Whole…

    Hehe At Least That’s
    The advice i would
    Have Given Myself
    if i Could Have Been
    A 61 Year Old Soul in A
    20 Year-Old Body Hehe…
    Fact of the Matter is i Wouldn’t

    Trade 61 for 20

    For All the Money
    in the World It’s
    What Evolves Within
    Now That Makes Us Shining
    Stars or Darkest Black Holes
    For It’s True i’ve Seen Many
    Generations Fall And Sink

    ThiS Way

    Be the
    Exception Now Enough
    Not The Rules oF Old Indeed
    Flow Float Rule the Ocean Whole
    Water Be Free Wave Keep SMiLiNG Complete..:)

    Liked by 3 people

  7. I can understand how you feel. I turned 20 in July last year. Although my person did not change ,that hit of reality was like no other. ‘So you mean I am actually an adult. Me?’ .Also, The limited finances with the somewhat ‘unlimited’ independence was/is not adding up. Anyways, I wish you a happy belated birthday and an amazing year!

    Liked by 5 people

  8. You know what they say, “Don’t grow up, it’s a trap.”
    We all think we’d have our lives together in adulthood. Often times, it’s the painful opposite.
    True words, thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 6 people

  9. I think its important, especially with a social media dominate society, to know that you’re on the right path and steer clear of comparing yourself to others. You’re not behind, you’re not lagging. You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. 💖

    Liked by 2 people

      1. 😂😂.. Thank you so much. I don’t even write poetry because it’s not my forte.. I was not expecting this at all.. But I hope to improve


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