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The Fallacy Of Valentines Day

Valentine gift

Today is Valentine’s day or as I would like to call it, World fraud day.  Money can not buy love except on Valentine. Do you actually know Valentine is a day to celebrate the soul of a saint. No, you don’t. Because you’re busy stuffing your mouth with chocolate. In all the world, there is no heart for you like mine and there’s no love for me like yours. Money included. Too bad I suck at romance and gift shopping.

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This Valentine, I do not need any pictures of yours. No, I don’t need that WhatsApp image or valentines message you send me. I don’t want to see any picture of yours on snap chat either. Hey, because you stay in my heart dear. Do you know what else can fit in my heart? A land in lekki, 7 pairs of Jordan sneakers, a yacht and a brand new car. Hey, feel free to drive your way through my veins and arteries. I never needed that left ventricle anyway.

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Even without valentine’s day, you’re my Valentine. I don’t need a special day to celebrate your love in my life. But since today the world is celebrating anyway, I’m here to wish that you actually bought me chocolates instead of flowers. What exactly am I supposed to do with them? You say you love me more than money but please, don’t make me force you to prove it.  I love you from my heart but my heart is hungry. Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to go shopping.

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Love is not my cup of tea. I prefer money more than honey. Who has money in his purse must have honey in his mouth? I wanted to make it really special today. So I am giving my boyfriend my priceless possession. My kidney. Isn’t that true love? I can’t wait to see what he gets me. I am definitely sure it’s a special valentine’s day gift for me. I think I am starting to have a problem with my vision, ever since I started dating, I haven’t seen any money through the entire relationship.

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I am not impressed by money or social status but how you treat me on Valentine’s day. Now, will you blow that trumpet like your life depends on it. All I need is love but a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. By all means, get into a relationship fellas. If you get a good partner, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. Just like me, commenting on valentine day posts on Instagram and writing you this epic philosophical post. I doesn’t mean I didn’t get any Valentine gift. I may have eaten them early.

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Being in a relationship with me is amazing. I add meaning to your life and I subtract just a little cash from you. Little I say, little. I am not a gold digger. I prefer silver. Love is like fart, if you have to force it, then it’s probably shit. Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money. I have found out that money is the most important thing in the world. And as God is my witness, I don’t intend to be without it again. I’ll never be hungry the way I was last year.

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I decided to make today a very remarkable day in my relationship. I talked to my boyfriend about important issues in life. And I asked him to embrace his mistakes and move on. He hugged me and broke up. Falling in love with the same person over and over again the best feeling ever. I am smart, funny, vulnerable and goddamned beautiful. The kind of beautiful that is worth being shot down over. And to the one who keeps sending me spams on Instagram, here’s what I have for you. Dear Justin Bieber, you want us to be friends. Or even more.

I think you are a-doh-able.

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4 thoughts on “The Fallacy Of Valentines Day

  1. “For this was sent on Seynt Valentyne’s day / Whan every foul cometh ther to choose his mate,” As It Turns Out Valentine’s Day May Have Actually

    Originated in Celebration From the Words of A Poem, The Verse
    Above By “Geoffrey Chaucer,” Indeed the Power of Story

    Is often What Changes HiStory Even More

    Than the So-called Original

    ‘Characters’ Our Modern Reality
    is Attributed too as Yes, Saint Valentine

    Was A ‘Real Giver’ in Several Legends that
    Depict Him Losing His Head Trying to Convert
    A Leader to Christianity; And Performing Covert Weddings
    For Christians Otherwise Not Able to Get Married Under Roman
    Rules of Persecution of Course His Gift Getting killed for that too

    in Martyrdom
    A Requirement
    Somedays to Get
    to Be A Saint After Death…

    Anyway it Seems We Actually
    May Be Able to Credit An Unrelated
    Poet For the Celebration of Candy And
    Flowers and So Many Weddings Still that Day to

    Come
    Again now
    Dear Annabel…

    It’s True though
    The Best Days the
    Golden Ages of Life Are
    Whenever They Come again
    or Begin for the First Day Now
    is When We Are Naked, Enough,
    Whole, And Complete Where All That’s

    Left
    And Right
    to Do is Giving
    When Giving Becomes
    The Receiving of Course
    Saint Valentine Never Gave Any
    Material Goods or Money to Anyone

    According to Various Legends of course

    He Just Spread a little Bit of Love to
    Places WHere Love Was Hiding For Love’s Life it seems…
    Yet of Course that is only Legend it is the Living Who Love Now

    ‘Real Saints’
    Do Still
    Breathe
    Love For Real
    Out of All the Fame
    And Fortune that come
    From Religious Idol Places to Perch
    As Statues That Are Dead Yet At
    Least Something For Some Folks to

    BeLiVE iN

    i’m
    a
    “Liver”
    With A “Love
    Story” That’s Real
    And Sure Every once
    in a While By A General Audience at Least
    Named a Living Legend Yet only For A Free Dance
    With no Reason Yet The Joy of Life Now Really Truly Breathing Free..:)

    Like

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