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I know, I know, it seems absurd. Who in their right mind likes failure? Well, I’d like you to think about it, sometimes failure is good, and although some people succeed on the first try, “some people” isn’t everybody. And you’re probably wondering why I write about such a story or what I aim from writing such a story and honestly, nothing. I’ve felt like I’ve lived in one big movie and my life is an insignificant part of it. But right now, i feel like I’m in a better place and space in my life where I’m the main actress.

Firstly, when I mean movie, I don’t mean that my life is overly interesting or I’m like this super popular type of person. I’m boring, an introvert and the worst type of person to piss off. I’m loud with whom I want and anti-social with whomever I don’t want. I love movies, to the point where I think I’m addicted, and sometimes I’m as lazy as you could ever imagine. Yes, so, introduction’s over, now, the deal breaker.

I’d say when all this failure thing started to hit me hard was when I was in primary 3 {3rd grade} where i started to fall from all the glory. I can’t really remember clearly what it felt like to be a truly happy kid back then because the only thing I was so focused on was being better or at per with my siblings. I began to envy them and resent myself with each passing day.

I remember how I would cry myself to sleep or on those very rear occasions wake up with tears in my eyes because I thought myself too incompetent. I even had these silly thoughts about how I wasn’t really born by my mom rather I was secretly adopted because, why in God’s name did I not function like my siblings did. Why wasn’t I so obedient and smart so I could get my parents proud remarks. Well, if little me had thought I was ever going to be happy and content, well I will, but that was going to be the beginning of a very troubled childhood.

I kept on failing in school, to the point that one time after out CA, I thought I could be smart and correct some of my answers after the test was already over. Well, I’d say I got the biggest embarrassment of my life and the most painful beating to top it all off. That incident put a lid on any evil plans my little mind could conjure. I think it wasn’t until the last term of 5th grade before I was about to graduate that the lord decided to give me a fairly nice result as a parting gift.

Then came secondary school, the worst shocker yet. The first term, I get 42nd out of 45 people in class. Writing it now, I’m laughing my ass off. Could you even imagine how dumb I was? Well, it continued that way until I got into the senior class, I also changed schools too. I think it felt nice feeling smart for a change. Getting called on stage because I was smart and actually getting recognized for it. To many, this wasn’t really a great achievement but I was the most proud of myself during those moments.

Right now, I am currently in my second year in the university, studying a course of study I like and happy with what I’ve achieved so far. I still get embarrassed about telling my siblings my exam scores especially the eldest, I mean who wouldn’t, she’s literally the smartest person I’ve ever met, but I realized that she too worked hard for all that she got and achieved, I was being totally unfair to the both of us and it was probably unfair to every other person around, because I’m sure my insecurities made them uncomfortable, instead of working on myself to be a better person and fix my worries, I was wallowing in self-pity and being lazy.

I know that there are some insecurities that can’t be fixed, but to whomever reads this, if it can be fixed, do not despair, rather try to work harder and be happy.


29 thoughts on “NECESSARY FAILURES

  1. Nice post. Failure is indeed a good thing sometimes but most people never realize that. Everyone has insecurities but rather than let it get the best of us,we should work on it. This really hit a spot.
    Looking forward to reading more ❤️.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The work is a direct one and showed vividly how one could get better when they fail. Failure sometimes is an eye opener to what you ought to do and where you need to be. So truly some failures are just lifters in disguise. You just need the right mindset. Be resilient.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I can relate. This is a good read and I’m endorsing it for anyone who’s suffering at the leprous hand of inferiority complex. I believe failure motivates those that wants to succeed to success. Thanks for sharing, Jessica ♥️

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is beautifully written, I like how your words flow easily, difficult to imagine this is just your first write up.

    I think failures are part of life, perhaps to help us appreciate more our wins when they arrive…. Looking forward to reading more of your writings.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. An interesting read. My story is the other way round, from primary school to secondary school I was the smartest. Then university happened, and I don’t think I’m that smart as I used to think. Well, now I’m learning and discovering, that each bend of failure lies success. I just keep going, and hoping for the best. Learnt a great life lesson last year, I’m not expendable, I’m human and I can fail. Realizing this gives me so much peace, healing and anxiety wears off. I’m human, and I’m learning, unlearning and relearning.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. This is really encouraging. Your journey has been a tough one but I’m happy you’ve come so far and so good.
    It’s true when you say that certain failures are necessary, even if no one wants to hear that. I mean, failure hurts bad.
    But through your story I hope everyone sees that we all can rise up.

    Plus, that second paragraph really felt like you were describing me😅😅.
    Amazing post!💖💛💜

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you… 😂😂😂..
      And it’s funny how a few paragraphs are explaining more than 10 years of my life.. But I guess it turned out for the best..

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Nice publication, I appreciate your dexterity and strength in making this article as a means delimiting the menace caused by inferiority complex.
        More knowledge learned counsel

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Thank you for sharing!!.. life is a learning process ( I am still learning) and just because one does not achieve the goals one sets for oneself does not mean they failed, the important thing is to learn from it and try again… “Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow them.” (Louisa May Alcott)… 🙂

    Until we meet again..
    May the sun shine all day long
    Everything go right, nothing go wrong
    May those you love bring love back to you
    And may all the wishes you wish come true
    (Irish Saying)


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