It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels worthy of himself. – Abraham Lincoln
This the article is part of an 8 part series to help you develop more confidence in the pursuit of your goals.
What is Self-Esteem?
Any discussion about how to build our self-worth must start with a definition of self-esteem. The two are, of course, related. Your self-esteem is undoubtedly influenced by your self-worth. However, they are not the same.
Self-esteem is primarily built upon sources outside of yourself that you don’t actually control.
Self-esteem encapsulates the thoughts and feelings you experience at each moment. These thoughts and feelings have a direct impact on your results, behavior, and performance.
Self-esteem is primarily built upon the value derived from doing the things that get you your desired outcomes. But it’s more than just about “doing” something.
Self-esteem is instead a direct outcropping of how you feel about yourself at any given moment. This is based purely on your actions.
How you feel about yourself is heavily influenced by how you think you’re fairing compared to others. In other words, your self-esteem is derived from what you think others “think” of you based on your results and actions.
Given all this, it’s quite clear that self-esteem is not something that comes from within ourselves, but rather something that comes from outside of ourselves and subsequently influences how we feel at any given moment.
Now, of course, how we feel at any given time has nothing to do with reality, but instead, it’s purely based on our perspective and interpretation of that reality. Given all this, it’s quite clear to see that self-esteem is very fickle and can shift with changing opinions and circumstances. However, this isn’t true for people who have a high level of self-worth.
A high degree of self-worth naturally enhances our self-esteem, thereby providing us with the self-confidence needed to follow through with our chosen decisions and actions.
What is Self-Worth?
Self-worth is an internal state of being that comes from self-understanding, self-love, and self-acceptance.
It’s a state that is somewhat timeless and unchanging because it’s a direct measure of how you value and regard yourself in spite of what others may say or do. It’s, therefore, something that doesn’t quickly or easily change when external factors or circumstances change.
Self-worth is steady and unflinching, and therefore, holds power to radically transform your life for the better.
This is, of course, all well and good, but what does it actually mean to have a high level of self-worth?
To have a high level of self-worth means having a favorable opinion or estimate of yourself. It means having unshakable faith in yourself and in your ability to follow through and get things done.
Having a high degree of self-worth means feeling worthy of good things. It means feeling deserving of happiness, health, wealth, success, and love — irrespective of the difficulties you face, the disappointments you experience, or of people’s opinions. In a word, it’s unflinching.
To have a high level of self-worth means accepting yourself wholeheartedly at all times despite your flaws, weaknesses, and limitations. It’s about recognizing the real value of who you are — right here, right now, at this present moment.
To have a high level of self-worth means never allowing yourself to be defined by outside forces, including people’s opinions. It means never allowing outcomes to shake your confidence, faith or resolve.
All this essentially means that no matter what happens you are steadfast. Nothing outside of your “being” influences how you feel about yourself. Your influence alone is the only thing that matters.
You alone are the most significant factor in how you feel about yourself, about your life, and about your circumstances. And that is essentially where your personal power comes from.