I regret everything I have done to hurt anyone. Sometimes, I think back on all the people I lost because of my actions, it makes me so sad. I am so sorry if i have hurt you in any way.
I used to be so happy, sharing special moments with friends and making everyone laugh.
I used to have a great sense of humor, telling stories to several people for their amusement.
Then I grew cold, circumstances changed me. My life was crumbling and I was struggling to hold on to myself. I lost everything. Most especially, I lost happiness for a long period. I lost myself.
Now, I am alone. I feel alone. I have learned to enjoy my company. Maybe because I am scared of losing more than I have lost.
I have tried several times to convince myself that I am not a terrible person and that the things happening to me are not happening because I deserve them.
I have been through so much; betrayal, pain, depression, ill health, and loss. I have felt so much for my age. I have dealt with issues bigger than myself. I have struggled with challenges that could swallow an entire person. And I have survived. That’s what keeps me going.
I am writing this with tears because I woke up this morning feeling like I felt in February. I feel like I am losing it again. I can’t stop crying. I just want peace. I want peace so bad that it hurts. I can’t deny that I am getting tired.
I know that I constantly write to encourage and to let people know they are not alone. Yes, you are not. Even in my current state, I have friends who care for me. I’m just going to try and talk to them. I want you to do the same if you feel this way too.
I know that someday, I will begin to heal more than I am doing now. I feel, and I pray that I find that peace I am searching for. You will too.
I have come to realize that once in a while, I will feel like this. I don’t know how often it’s going to happen. I don’t know how long this phase of my life will last but I hope to tell the story of my restoration. Some day, I hope to think about my life and not cry.
Thank you to everyone who has been here for me. It means so much. I love you all.
Anna's Styles 
Everybody goes through these things once in a while. I hope you understand that it’s very okay to cry, just let everything out and I promise, you’ll feel better afterwards. Yes, you’re not alone although opening up to friends can be really hard sometimes but the blogging community (speaking for many I guess)is always here to listen.
You’ll look back at this one day and smile. Understand that it’s a process,a healing process and you’ll get through it and find peace at the end of your journey.
Even advisors need a break sometimes,be patient with yourself. You’ll be fine.
Sending love ❤️ and light 💡 your way.
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Thank you so much A.y
I have accepted that I will not heal immediately or at once, it would take time and dedication. It would have to revisit some memories and open up some deep wounds to learn to move on. Thank you for always being there for me💖💖. God bless you💖💖💖
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I hope and pray that you will feel better soon. GOD BLESS
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Thank you so much💖. I needed this prayer and I have faith in God that he would make things better for me. Thank you for visiting and praying for me💖💖💖
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Feel better, Anna. Sad times, frustration, and depression are all a part of life. You’re growing up and getting to know more and more what life is made of.
There’s something I always say, and it always works for me: It always turns out right in the end.
Trust me, this has been proven in life over and over again. The present may seem like hell, but comfort yourself with the fact that it always turns out right in the end.
Jisie ike (take heart). 💝
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Thank you so much, Vanessa. Indeed, I am growing to realize that life has more to offer than all we have asked for. A little bit of everything from every side.
You are quite right! It always turns out right in the end. It may not be what we exactly want but life will someday get better.
I hope to one day look back at your comment and smile. Sending you love and hugs💖💖💖
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Awwww. I really hope you do! 🥲☺️
Love and hugs received in good condition. ✔️✔️✔️
And I wish you the bestest recovery back to the best part of yourself. ♥️
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Thank you so much 💖💖
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😊😊😊
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It’s not easy sometimes. It hurts to care. But you have shared your light and love with so many it can’t help but be reflected back to you! Take care! Big hugs❤️
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Thank you so much💖💖. Sometimes, I feel like I am carrying such a huge burden and I am so desperate to let go of it. I feel lucky to have discovered such a good and loving community of writers. Thank you for your kind words💖💖
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I am glad I can help. Take care!🦋❤️
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Sending you love and prayers Ana!
Be good to you and take good care!!!!💞
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Thank you so much Cindy💖💖🥺.
Sending you the warmest hugs too💖💖
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Thanks for sharing!!.. some days are like diamonds, some days are like stone, we all have them…. 🙂
“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together”…( Marilyn Monroe)… 🙂
Until we meet again…
May flowers always line your path
and sunshine light your way,
May songbirds serenade your
every step along the way,
May a rainbow run beside you
in a sky that’s always blue,
And may happiness fill your heart
each day your whole life through.
(Irish Saying)
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“I believe that everything happens for a reason”
You are so right. Although my experiences have caused a lot of heartaches, It has shaped me to become a better and stronger person. It has caused this burning desire to help others and be better for the world.
Thank you so much for visiting and sharing such beautiful words with me.💖💖
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SMiLes With All the Stigma Attached to Mental Illness
in Nigeria And Particularly All the Stigma Attached to
BorderLine Personality Disorder How Brave of You
To Share Your Challenges Dear Anita As Even
A Psychotherapist i Was Seeing For Many Years
Sort of Cried on my Shoulder After i Recovered my Soul
How She Just Couldn’t Help Folks With BorderLine Personality
Disorder And They Were Worth No More of Her Effort As Another
Psychiatrist i was Seeing Advised The Newly Recovered Empath of
me to Discard
Folks With That
Disorder As They Likely
Are Beyond my Help Yet It’s
True For Some of Those Who Don’t Suffer
They Were Not the Little Small Frail Girl
Sexually Abused By Her Uncle Who Threatened to Kill
Her if She Spoke Up to Her Parents And When She As A Child
Did She only Received Lifelong Physical Abuse From the Males
In Her Family and Even Her Mother As A Book i Read ‘Into the Light’
Related This Afternoon While Public Dancing And Listening to Meditative
Music Yes in Total Flow While Entertaining the StarBucks College Study
Crowd For Free
At Barnes and Noble
Yes To Sort of Return
The Favor of Reading
Around 400 Or So Free
Books A Book A Week in An Hour
on Sunday Afternoons For the Last 9 Years…
Most Folks Can Warm Themselves Up With Love When
They Are Alone Like Hugging A Stuffed Animal Or A Pillow
For Real as the Oxytocin of Warm and Fuzzy Just Flows Within
Or the Pet of a Cat or Dog
The Warmth of FRiEnDSHiP
The SMiLe of A Family Member
One May Trust With Total Faith
Not to Physically And Horribly
Sexually Abuse them True As the
Girl in That Story Also Lost Vision
in One Eye When Bombed Where
She Lived in Sri Lanka That Way
i’ve Lived in the Place of Hell
WHere/With the Worst Pain
Known to Humankind Then
Type Two Trigeminal Neuralgia
Literally Assessed As The Suicide
Disease And Literally A Pain Assessed
As Worse Than Crucifixion Like a Dentist Drill
With No Drug That Would Touch it in the Nerves
Associated With my Right Eye And Ear Losing
Effective Use of Eyes and Ears For Any Colors
or Songs of Life Then Including the Memory
of A Feeling of A Smile Yes from Wake to Sleep
For 66 Months No Returning From the Living Dead
With A Life Threat in Synergy of 18 Other
Medical Disorders too
No Point of Return
Of Pain And Numb
Yet Melting Away
RiSing From Ashes
on July 19th, 2013
Standing Upon A Beach
Becoming One With Sugar
White Sands Sea Oats in the Breeze
Emerald Green Waves ‘Jonathan Livingston
Seagull’ Wings RiSinG HiGHeR And HiGHeR
Still SPiRaLinG Around my Sunshine Within Yes
Transforming Wings into Dance And Song Free For Real
True When my Soul Died And i Tried to Pet Our Cat to Feel
Anything at All The Cat Arthur’s Ears Peeled Back As That Cat
Was no Fool He Could Sense i Was No Longer Fully Human And
A Potential Danger to Him True Animals Will Most Definitely Feel
And Sense a Ghost Wandering the Earth Not Realizing They Are The Living Dead…
And The Moral of This Story
Is When All Faith Love
And Hope Are Gone
Totally Impossible
To Feel and Sense Within
And All That is Left is A Thousand
Years of One Breath in All TiMe iN HeLL ON EartH
For Real Now Yes What is Left is That Breath And
Another Breath
And Another Breath
of Hell Until If and When
Heaven Returns for Real
Indeed it is Very Difficult For Most
‘Every Day Humans’ to WalK iN The Shoes
Of Real DEViLS iN HeLL ON EartH WHeRE ALL
Is TiME A Thousand Years in a Second Yes of Hell For Real…
Particularly When All You Did is Everything Folks Asked of You
Before You Fell Down
And Asked Why Me
As my Mother Said Why Not
You Yet You See She Also Said
This too Will Pass i Had Nothing
Left of Hope Never the Less Her Dream
Came True for me
And Of CouRSE
Mine Did True too
Out of the DarK mY
FRiEnD Never Give Up
As ‘Katy Perry’ Sings After
A Hurricane A ‘Perfect Storm’ of DarK A Door May
Open to Heaven For Real Yes A FireworK iNDeed For Real Us…
As THere is No Real Separation of God Nature For Real Yes DarK Makes LiGHT Real…
iN All Ways We Come Now To Color Life NeW INHaLinG Peace ExhalinG LoVE iN JoY
oF LiGHT Giving Caring Sharing Healing In All Respect for ALL With Least Harm For ReaL
NeW
ETerNaLLY NoW..:)
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Thank you so much💖
I don’t believe the stigma attached to mental health illness in Nigeria should stop me from speaking and helping people who need help.
Indeed, borderline personality disorder seems to be the worst personality disorders. However, there is still much that can be done to help people with this disorder. We can still live a normal life and love with all of our hearts. I think our biggest weakness is love. And I hope to share so much of it.
Thank you for visiting and commenting on my blog💖💖💖
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So True Dear Anita it
Is Often Those Who
Struggle Most in
Life Early Who
Rise
More
Later in
Life Retaining
Enough Humility
To Love Those
Unconditionally
Who Are
Behind
Or
Fall
Behind God
Bless All You
Do For Real Dear
FRiEnD With SMiles😇❤️🙏🏝
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I understand, I’m dealing with it again too. Right now, depression is not going away. I pray and I know that the Lord sees and knows what is happening and the comfort is there in His Word. I switched churches a few months ago when those who claimed that they were my friends, stopped having anything to do with my husband and I. That wasn’t the only reason why we left, but it certainly didn’t help matters. I write and I have done all I can to help and encourage others, but right now, I need some help.
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I really do understand you
I think there’s a lot of emotional imbalance that comes with switching a place of worship. It happened to my family in 2020 and we haven’t still moved on from the effect. But I know you will.
Most times, people who offer the kindest hugs and sweetest words need more of them. We are often hanging on a thin thread with thousands of emotions over our heads. But I know that there’s always peace at the end.
I hope that you find the peace and happiness you desire. Don’t try to force people into your life instead, work on establishing a healthy relationship with your husband so that it doesn’t affect your marriage. You will definitely find better people who will stand with you at all times. For now, hold on to Jesus and share more love. He will find you.
I’m also here if you need to talk to someone.
Have a great day♥️♥️♥️
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